The day that I am drafting this blog post, is the 16th of August. (I like prescheduling). This also happens to be the day that I wrote my personal statement… and I had some very mixed thoughts while writing it.
Many people end up writing one, or something similar, if they’re intending to go to university. It’s like you’re trying to fit something along with your grades to make them more personalized – to make the numbers into something more humane. While writing it, I quickly took all the best aspects of myself, all my achievements, and buttered them best I could. I chucked them on the page, and that was that.
When I was done, I felt pretty strange…
I hadn’t even thought about what I was doing much, but in some sort of way I had just reviewed myself like I review my books. I’d looked for what I liked most and what I didn’t like. Instead of being honest though, I’d only put what I liked and what looked best in order to ‘sell’ myself to the university. Sort of how an author promotes their own books – they’re not really going to go around flaunting their negative reviews, right?
It made me think of the pressure I was putting on myself too. As soon as I go to university (you know, if I pass those exams, if I get accepted… if, if, if *bites nails anxiously*) then I would be feeling the pressure to live up to all the things I have put down on that piece of paper. I know there won’t be someone watching me like a hawk to see if I lived up to all the things I claimed I was and am, but there would be that mental note tucked into my mind of what I pledged whenever I am doing something.
Even now, before I have sent off the application I already am feeling that pressure. The worst thing about it is that I wrote it myself. Sure, I needed to write one, so you could say it wasn’t really done willingly…
Then again, maybe I am stressing and overthinking something as little as writing a personal statement way too much.
The main thing I am trying to get at is that we put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Sometimes there are outer forces influencing that as well, and sometimes there really aren’t. But what you need to remember is that when you shouldn’t even promise yourself when it comes to goals. Aspire towards them, yes. Encourage yourself, yes. But don’t fret and stress about getting there, because that’s just unnecessary panic you don’t need in life.
You’re gonna be able to ace whatever life throws your way, and exceed all expectations.
Olivia’s Question: Do you pressurize yourself sometimes?